Sunday, October 30, 2011

The constant pregnancy symptoms

Sorry in advance if this post seems all over the place and not well-written. I'm exhausted but felt like posting.

I've noticed something as we have been trying to conceive: each month I have pregnancy symptoms that I'm sure means I'll get my BFP! Then, I'm deeply disappointed when my AF starts a few days later.

I'm not sure if these new "symptoms" are all mentally constructed or if some of them have to do with my body getting used to doing everything on its own again, without synthetic hormones.  I just know, that since getting off of the pill in June, my body has been wreaking havoc on my mind!

June, I remember having spotting, sore breasts, cramping, and nausea.  This continued for July, August and September as well, although in September my breasts were SO very sore and in such a different way that I was almost certain I was pregnant.

It's frustrating when your body makes you feel like you're lifelong dream is coming true, only to disappoint you a few days later.  I do believe that some of these feelings are psychological because I want a baby so badly. I do think others are probably from the hormone changes in my body.

This month has been different though.  I actually feel just PMS-y.  I have very mild cramps, much less severe than the past 4 cycles.  My chest doesn't feel terribly sore, and I feel really good and happy.  Totally different than my previous cycles.  Because I'm not nauseous or really sore, I'm almost 100% certain I am not pregnant this month which I think may also be keeping my psychological symptoms at bay.

I'm still disappointed because when I worked out potential due dates I realized how perfect being pregnant right now would be.  We would be due right around our 2 year anniversary at the beginning of July.  I would have David home with me for the first two months which would help tremendously when getting back into the routine of treatments and such.  Also, we are standing up for our friend's wedding in August and I would be fine to leave the baby with grandparents and endure a whole night of partying with our best friends.  It would give me plenty of time to recover and rest up.  Regardless, God knows when the right time is, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.  I'm also still waiting for the results of the ultrasound from my doctor, so who knows we may be heading to infertility soon anyway.

Who knows, my crazy fake pregnancy symptoms may be stopped for good or they may come back again next month even worse. I'm hoping for the former one of these two options! :)


  1. I understand how frustrating it can be waiting every month for the BFP! I've 'thought up' some symptoms too each month when I first got off the pill, because my periods were always late. But I finally realized that they're just late, not non-existent. I've definitely had head-aches and some nausea, but not much lately.
    I really hope you get the results from your ultrasound soon so that you are able to figure out the next step in this process. Sounds like we're going through very similar things here.

  2. This sounds So familiar!! Every month I got symptoms and was convinced i was pregnant until I got the stupid BFN. Even a few times before we were trying I was convinced I would get a BFP due to symptoms. My periods are like clockwork and the month before we conceived my period was a week late! I kept taking pregnancy tests, but they always came up negative. It was so frustrating and I am pretty sure I cried every time I got a BFN.

  3. After I got off the pill, I had every single pregnancy symptom in the book... right down to bright blue veins all over my chest and abdomen, going up almost a whole bra size, etc. etc. etc. My husband and I were so sure I was pregnant. I think 99% of it was crazy problems coming off of the pill. Right now I haven't ovulated since July, so I KNOW I'm not pregnant! ;) I thought you said your charts didn't show a temp rise? If you don't have a temp rise, you can almost guarantee you aren't pregnant. It's very unusual bordering on impossible to get pregnant without that ovulation rise, sad to say!

  4. Thank you for empathizing ladies! I really appreciate it! Colleen, I wish we were in the same boat with both having BFP results :)!

    Inhaling Hope, I think this is the first month I've gotten really emotional about not "being" pregnant. I'm not due QUITE yet for my period, but I found myself standing in the baby section of Wal-Mart looking at baby shoewr gifts and trying not to break down in was ridiculous.

    Cindy, Good to know that it's not just me! Wow, if I had all of those symptoms I would have felt the exact same thing. Crazy. I actually didn't chart June and July, but then last two months I did and didn't need to test. Then this month, I believe I FINALLY ovulated. I'm not posting a whole post on it until I am 100% sure. I just still feel the pregnancy symptoms and still feel disappointment when my AF comes. I sincerely hope YOU ovulate soon as well! Ugh..since July! :(

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