Friday, March 15, 2013

Clinic Update and 27 Weeks

Despite how awful I was feeling last week, it seems that I have managed to kick it on my own. My PFTs were stable yesterday (sitting at 79% for my FEV1). My FVC is a little bit down, but since I have a pretty awesome baby bump pushing up on my lungs, it's only to be expected. So, my doctors agreed to continue with upped CPT and avoid IVs for now, which was a huge relief for me as I really don't want to expose our little girl to anything I don't have to.

My sugars are still kind of crazy, but I'm managing them as well as I can. I think this will be a constant struggle now until the day of delivery, but that's okay. Anything is worth it for this little one..that's for sure!

My weight is doing extremely well, and I have gained 22 pounds now! It's hard to believe, but it's so amazing to see the number on the scale continuing to rise. I do eat five huge meals a day so that may have something to do with it. :)

And I'm officially 27 weeks (and one day). I don't know where time is going, but she will be here in just 11 short weeks now. I'm starting to feel the third trimester fatigue (all I want to do is sleep right now..just like the first trimester all over again), and I'm starting to feel more uncomfortable all the time. I spend a lot of time on my hands and knees to alleviate the back pain I feel, and my husband is amazing with all of his massages he offers.

This pregnancy has been amazing, but I am starting to see hints of the time when I'm going to be so ready to be done with pregnancy. I have days off and on now when I feel SO miserable and sore that I wonder how I can handle making it to 38 weeks. I know I will, but I do wonder sometimes.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Feeling Under the Weather

I think CF has reared it's ugly head because I certainly am not feeling the best. 

Yesterday I started in with streaking every time I brought up sputum. It wasn't much. I would say about a teaspoon the entire day (really minuscule amount), but still it is unusual for me. I wouldn't be too concerned if I wasn't feel run-down as well. Just exhausted, sore throat, headache.

The streaking stopped today, then came back, then stopped again. I got about three hours of sleep total as I coughed my way through the rest of the night last night (thankfully I slept a lot today). Just feeling miserable.

I did place a call to my CF doctor, but she must have been incredibly busy because she did not return my call today (very very unusual). 

And now, I have sharp lung pain in my right lung. Just started about an hour or so ago. It's not constant, but it certainly is present. 

I think it may be time to break down and go on antibiotics. Since I'm pregnant, no orals I normally take are safe and we're probably looking at IVs. I haven't had IVs since 2008 (at that time it was only a precautionary measure because of having sinus surgery), and I haven't had IVs for a real infection since 2005 so I shouldn't complain. And I won't. All that matters is my and baby girl's safety and health. 

I just hope my doctor returns my call tomorrow morning. If not, I'll be calling again! 

Friday, March 1, 2013

The Expected and Unexpected of a CF Pregnancy

It's so hard to believe that I am now 25 weeks. I only have 13 precious weeks left of being pregnant before my little girl finally arrives. I truly don't even know what to make of it, and to be honest it still doesn't feel quite real.

I wanted to write this post because I feel like there are many things I never expected with this pregnancy, and many of my original expectations were shattered. Now every pregnancy is different as is every case of cystic fibrosis, but hopefully this will be reassuring to someone else out there who is currently thinking of or trying to conceive.

Blown Expectation #1: Pregnancy with CF would be very hard.
This has been one of the biggest shockers to me as I've gone through the pregnancy. I had always heard general horror stories of how bad you feel in pregnancy. You know...miserable, exhausted, nauseous, sore all the time, etc. Obviously most of these people I have talked to do not have a chronic disease. I'm not saying there aren't days when I feel bad because I certainly do, but then again that's how I felt with my CF anyway. I'd have days (prior to pregnancy) when I felt miserable; I'd be in so much pain from CF tummy issues, I'd be exhausted and sore from coughing so much, and all I would want to do is sleep. I promise you that pregnancy has NOT been worse than those days. Personally, I believe that for many (normally healthy) people, pregnancy is an introduction to something many CFers know about: The Spoon Theory.

If you're unfamiliar with the spoon theory, please take time to read the linked article as it is quite accurate. Basically, for those with a chronic illness, you only have so many "spoons" that you can use a day. When those "spoons" are gone, then you can't do anything else. It's about reserving energy for what's important and some (most) days you have fewer "spoons" in your reserve than you'd like, but there's not much you can do about it. We CFers are used to this. We understand that we have to make important decisions based on how we will feel later or if we'll have time to get our treatments in. Pregnancy is similar because you have to prioritize since you are exhausted or too sore/big to do much.

Truthfully, after dealing with CF for my entire life, Pregnancy has not thrown anything at me so far that I can't handle. It's been a beautiful experience and when I'm hurting, exhausted, or nauseous, I just remind myself that I've felt much worse.

Unexpected #1: CFRD is hard in pregnancy
This was an expected but unexpected at the same time. I knew it wouldn't be easy to control my CFRD in pregnancy, but I didn't realize just how hard it would be. My sugars are crazy now that I'm pregnant, and when I hit a high number I immediately feel so guilty and worried that I'm hurting my little girl. The crazy thing is that I can eat the same meal two days in a row with the same amount of insulin and I'll have two completely different sugars two hours post dinner. It's so frustrating because I just never know what to expect fully. I am doing my best to keep my sugars lower, but sometimes I hit a really high number and I just have to work on getting it down as fast as possible. I then sit and pray that God will protect my little miracle girl because I certainly am not doing the best job of it. This has been the area where I have felt the most overwhelming guilt during this pregnancy, and it's so hard not to worry.

Unexpected #2: I wouldn't want more kids
Ok, I should start off by saying that if I was healthy, I'd want at least two more kids. Before getting pregnant with our little girl, I knew I wanted more than one. Both my husband and I felt this way. Then once I became pregnant, I realized I couldn't go through this again and risk my health when I already have a daughter at home who needs her mom. I've decided that (unless it happens naturally) our little girl will be our only child. It hurts to think about this, but I also know I can't jeopardize my health for my own selfishness.

I have more of these that I've thought of as the pregnancy has gone on, but this post is getting quite long already. I just know that I have been incredibly blessed to be able to carry this little girl, and I can't wait to meet her in three months!