Earlier, I posted a really short blog about the following information. Now, having time to reflect upon it and relax, I have edited the post (the information is the same, just written better now).
Early this morning, I received a call from U of C regarding my ultrasound results. The nurse, Karen, stated that there was nothing that required immediate attention, but there were some serious concerns about what the films showed. She said that my high-risk OB felt the best course of action was to be set up with a reproductive endocrinologist (RE for short) who would help with infertility.
Immediately, upon hearing the word infertility, my heart sank. I have always in the back of my mind thought we would need help getting pregnant. I have worried about it since I was a child due to my CF and very painful/irregular periods. Hearing your fears confirmed, however, is a whole other feeling. I was heartbroken. I sat sobbing on the couch after getting off the phone with her, trying to compose myself.
The only thing I could figure out to do was to write. That’s why this blog was so all over the place earlier. I needed to get it out of my system and I wanted to share it with all of you, who were wondering about the results. The writing helped ease my sadness and fears, and helped me realize that I needed to start a plan of action.
Karen (my high-risk OB’s nurse) had set up the first available appointment with the RE. She had wanted to get me in TODAY, but unfortunately he was 100% booked and could not see me until he returned from his 2 and ½ week trip out of the country. She set up the appointment for Nov. 21 and told me to call the office to set up insurance and get directions.
I called the office and am already very impressed with the kindness of the staff. The receptionist was amazingly comforting while explaining how everything would work. She gave me the directions, including the fact that the office offers free parking – amazing when you consider it’s in DOWNTOWN Chicago. The office is still through U of C, but it is their downtown campus – looks like we’ll be doing some Christmas shopping after the appointment! She also gave me the link for all of the paperwork (all 10 pages of it, no exaggeration) that needs to be filled out prior to my arrival.
From there, I called the insurance company. Again, I was so grateful for their compassion and help with this situation. They explained my benefits fully (what would/wouldn’t be covered). They made sure I understood the insurance jargon, and they reassured me that they would be there if I needed help understanding any paperwork further down the line. I will say, we are VERY blessed by our insurance coverage. Almost everything will be covered. We will have to pay for part of it, but not the whole thing. Thank goodness.
After getting off the phone with the insurance company, the RE’s office called back and said they had a cancellation for next Monday!!! I am so grateful that I won’t have to wait 3 weeks to see the doctor. We can see him, figure out exactly what the ultrasound showed, and set up further testing. I read the website and it said after the initial consultation, it will be 4-6 weeks worth of testing before they set up a plan.
So how am I going to handle this? That’s the next question. The answer: I’m making it a positive experience. Yes, I had always wanted to have a baby naturally, without medical help, but that’s just not going to be possible. I confided in one of my good friends earlier, and she said something very accurate: It will still be our baby – whether it happens naturally, from a petri dish, or I find one in the driveway. It will still be our child and we will love him/her the same. And really, that’s the goal, isn’t it? A happy, healthy baby, regardless of the method it took to get there.
I’m also deciding that this will be a way for me to form a closer relationship to God and to form a closer bond with my husband. We will have to be there for each other like never before through this process. It will strengthen our love and our marriage.
If you've gotten this far and are still reading this - I'm impressed! I'm sorry it's so long, just a lot to share. When I started this blog, I decided I would share everything with my readers. That hasn’t changed. There are a vast number of women who go through infertility, and there are many cysters who go through it as well. There’s not enough information out there, and I will share my experience, my thoughts, my worries, and my accomplishments with you all. I can guarantee that there will be times when what I share is emotional and poorly-written, but it will all be part of this journey. If it can provide one OUNCE of comfort for someone else, then it’s all worth it to me.
Also, keeping with what I said last night, I feel like I need to add what I'm thankful for today. I'm thankful that I have access to tremendous doctors and medical support staff. I know many people are not nearly as fortunate as I am. I'm truly blessed. I am thankful for the insurance we have, and for how much they are willing to cover during this process. Also, I am very fortunate for my support system; my husband, mother, sisters, friends, and my CF community. I honestly don’t know how I would be handling this without that system. Wow, am I blessed!!