Monday, August 13, 2012

And the Beta Result is . . .


It's taken me quite awhile to update my page, and I'm sorry for that.

I actually found out that it was negative on August 8, when my period started. My beta was actually on August 9, but we told everyone else it was on August 13. There were a few reasons for this little white lie (which I do feel terrible about, by the way). First and foremost, we had a dear friend's wedding that we were involved in on August 11, and we felt that, regardless of the outcome, we wanted them to have their day FULLY about them without worrying about how we were doing or having others ask us about the results. This was their day, and we weren't going to spoil it one way or another. The second reason we lied to everyone was so that we could have time to process the results ourselves, good or bad, and boy am I glad we did that as we needed time to mourn ourselves.

The evening of August 8 was extremely hard as I knew it was over once my period arrived. I cried for a few hours that day, and I had to keep reminding myself that we have other chances. I felt defeated though, as if someone had sucked all the joy out of me and would never let it return. As the night continued, I began to feel a little bit better realizing that we could look at doing a frozen transfer in a few months.

August 9 rolled around, and I was still required to go in for my beta. What a trip that was. I ended up being stuck twice, as if to add insult to injury, and the phlebotomist wished me luck with a giant smile. Also, I saw enough pregnant people to make me sick for the rest of the day. I took some time to myself after the blood draw, and I simply drove around town letting myself feel upset and down. Truthfully, it helped tremendously to handle it alone (as strange as that probably sounds).

The next day, the nurse called with my results and sounded devastated for me. I told her it was ok, and that I had already known. She then asked if we needed time off or if we wanted to schedule a frozen transfer. I immediately jumped on the frozen transfer and have felt much better since making that plan. I actually got my schedule in the mail today, and I began my birth control pills again already!! It's well over a month away, but it gives me something to look forward to!

I want to thank you all for your support, well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts throughout this first IVF round. Although we are quite sad it was not successful, we believe in our hearts that God has a plan that is far greater than any plan we could ever create. He does not make mistakes, and whatever is His will is what is meant to be. Hopefully that includes a child in our future, but if it doesn't then we just pray that God gives us the strength to understand his choices. Thank you again for your understanding, patience, and love that you have given us - we are truly grateful!


  1. Megan and David our hearts ache for the two of you! We experienced a chemical pregnancy our first IVF round. It was the hardest experience to go through ever. We will continue to keep the two of you in our thoughts and prayers. Wishing you the best on your frozen transfer!!!!

  2. I'm so sorry Megan! I will continually keep you in my thoughts as you. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your next go. =)

  3. Oh, Megan, even though I've known about this for a few days it is still breaking my heart! I am praying so hard for you and your FET!!!

  4. I am devastated for you! I can't imagine how hard this must be. I wish I could give you a huge hug. Sending you lots of luck for this next round. BTW how selfless and thoughtful of you to not want to take away from your friend's wedding! What an amazing friend you are!

  5. I'm sorry Megan, but so glad to hear that you're trying again already. Hopefully this round will be easier now that you know what to expect... and you'll have a happier outcome.

  6. thank you all for your comments! I'm hoping this next cycle is the one :) I appreciate all your love and support - it makes a difference! :)


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