I don't know about other women out there TTC, but health class sure deceived me. When I finished that class my sophomore year, I was certain that not using birth control of some form automatically equated to a pregnancy.
We were told how dangerous intercourse was and all of the possible diseases we would get if we weren't careful. We were told of painful labor was and we were forced to watch a birthing video where the woman was screaming her head off. We read numerous stories about the thousands of woman who had unplanned pregnancies when they were 16 or while they were on drugs or dealing with alcoholism and how they wished they could change things.
Now I understand the scare tactic and I agree that teenagers need to be informed (and often times scared) about the potential dangers/realities of intercourse. I do think, however, that I left that class thinking getting pregnant was easy, and now I feel like I was lied to.
Having CF, I knew it was going to be more difficult for me, but I still don't know if I really understood the emotional rollercoaster my hubby and I have now gotten into. I feel quite guilty when I look at a 16 year old girl with a newborn baby and I get upset that I can't get pregnant easily. I know that many many many women, even without CF, go through struggles with getting pregnant. I have nothing to complain about, but just find it irritating that at 16, health class made it out to be the easiest thing in the world.
I'm now on cycle day 32 with no symptoms of either AF or pregnancy. My temps still haven't risen which means I have no idea when to expect my AF. I will be happy when a new cycle starts and I can start charting day one of the cycle and we can try again.
I've realized this blog is 100% a vent-fest. I'm not sure if this is just me talking or if it is also influenced by the cold-turned-cough I'm now going through. Regardless, I feel better after finishing it :)
I so understand!!! I feel the same way. My shortest cycle thus far has been about 40 days (yikes), and last cycle was actually completely anovulatory because I had a hemoptysis right when I was supposed to ovulate. Ugh. I, too, have thought about how "easy" all the info in high school made it seem. It's hard as well, because 99% of my friends have gotten pregnant the first time they tried (I had one friend tell me that they had "trouble" getting pregnant- because she got pregnant the SECOND month off of birth control!). Vent away! We all need it sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThis is what your blog is for. To write out your frustrations, emotions, and bumps along the road of this hard journey! Although I will give you a fair warning, you were probably lied to about a LOT of things in High School - haha. I know I was. ;-P I'm just sorry this had to be one of them.
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up (it sounds like you are) and know that we're hear to support you whether you're 'venting' or not. =)
Cindy - how irritating!! I hate having long cycles, it makes trying seem to take even longer. I understand the friend part too. A few of my friends/family have gotten pregnant either a) without trying or b) right after deciding to try. We haven't been trying long but it's already frustrating to a degree. Once you want a baby, it's so hard to think of anything else.
ReplyDeleteBeth, thank you so much for making me feel better about venting :)! I sure WAS lied to a lot in high school but yes, I wish this wasn't one of the lies. I appreciate the support more than I can tell you! :)
I agree 100%!!! I don't think I ever missed a birth control pill..EVER. I was super worried about getting pregnant when my lungs weren't in great shape now I would do anything just to get pregnant!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband's cousin got pregnant at 16 and decided to go out and party after he was born as if nothing changed. Her grandmother ended up watching the baby most nights while she partied. I would give anything to be a mom and watching his cousin put herself before the baby was heartbreaking. Life is utterly unfair sometimes!
Inhaling Hope,
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how go from worried to wanting nothing more than being pregnant! I imagine the situation with your hubby's cousin is quite irritating. It's quite sad. I know..I have trouble seeing these young kids who will state they "regret" it or something similar. I wish they could understand how many women out there would give anything to have a chance to have a baby.
Oh gosh - I'm on the "regretting birth control" wagon too, haha. We waited to start trying until we'd been married 2 1/2 years, because my health was unstable (not that it's all that much better anymore...sigh). Now after 7 months TTC with not a normal cycle in sight, I'm thinking - geez, we spent HOW much money on those TWO forms of birth control we used because we were so worried about what pregnancy would do to my body?
ReplyDeleteHindsight is 20/20, I guess! And yep, essentially everyone I know has gotten pregnant either by accident or on the first month of trying. And when I say everyone, I mean a LOT! All of my friends have kids - most of them 2 or 3 by now....