Today has been an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I’m
not 100% sure why. I just know that I’m
finding myself quite sad this evening. I
have a couple theories as to why:
1)
I’ve been praying for a large number of people
later. Normally prayer does not make me
said, and it’s not the actual act of praying that has made me said, but the
reason I’ve had to say the prayers. It seems like there are so many people that
are sick, struggling, in danger, or having troubles and are in need of prayer
right now. It just seems like an overwhelming amount compared to my usual
prayer list. This in turn makes me feel
sad and guilty. It’s very hard for me to
know people are having troubles and there is nothing I can personally do,
except for praying for them.
2)
The weather today was dreary and cold. There was
not a single ray of sunshine that touched my skin today and the chill in the
air had me in a jacket and gloves this morning.
Normally, I enjoy the cold and the greyness of the air doesn’t bother
me, but today it just seemed sad
outside. I felt like the weight of the world resided in the sky today and like
I would never see sunshine again.
3)
My mother and I went baby shopping today for
family and a family friend who are both due at the end of the year. Again, this normally doesn’t bother me and I
actually had fun while I was partaking in the shopping, but at the same time,
it’s just another reminder that we are not pregnant yet.
4)
My hormones are all over the place. I’m angry, sad, happy, in tears, and laughing
within a 5 minute span of time. I don’t know what’s going on with them. I’m also exhausted from this illness still
and I’m concerned about the severe pain in my left breast. It’s a pain I’ve never felt before and it
hasn’t let up in 24 hours now. I’m
hoping it’s just a really bad case of PMS, but if it’s not gone by early next
week I think I’m going to make an appointment to get it checked out.
So, I’m guessing that my sadness is tied to a combination of
all the above factors. I’m hoping that
some extra sleep and a nice big breakfast tomorrow will help me get back out of
this funk. I honestly hate feeling sad
and I hate relishing in self-pity which I find myself doing a lot tonight.
I am sorry about your pain and being in a funk. How awful. I hope today brings a little sunshine and that your funk was left in yesterday.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Today was much better - sunny and happier. I hope your cold is getting better!!!
ReplyDelete