Today. . .

I'm 10 days into my Lupron shots and a week from tomorrow will be my baseline ultrasound and blood work. I've noticed that I've been a bit emotional, but not overly so. Also, I have a daily headache..behind my eyes. It's not too bad, but it's noticeable. Being 10 days into the cycle, my mind has begun wandering to the idea of a positive pregnancy test, and I keep trying to not get my hopes too high.  Today, however, has been an AMAZING day so I've let my mind wander as much as it wants.

Why was today amazing, you ask?

1) I began my day by getting some AMAZING news about a dear friend. The news I got made my whole week, and I nearly screamed at work. I was just SO excited for this person. I love hearing good news about my friends/family.

2) I worked with my favorite co-workers today and the day went pretty quickly which is ALWAYS a good thing.

3) My sister's follow-up appointment at Northwestern went extremely well, and the doctors are so pleased that they do not feel the need to see her again. They told her she is welcome to start chemo whenever she wants. AMAZING!

4) My husband had planned a sweet romantic day to celebrate our anniversary.  He's booked massages and has a nice place picked out for a dinner afterwards. What a true sweetheart I have!

5) I dreamed about positive pregnancy tests alllll day today. I read forum after forum about when people got their positive tests following their transfers. I calculated my test date/due date. I did it all.  Then, I started to worry that I might be over-suppressed or over-stimulated this cycle, and it might just get cancelled. I also started to worry that my lung function will be down so they will decide to cancel the cycle to put me on IVs. Then..I told myself to stop worrying and enjoy my dreaming..so I did just that. I went back to dreaming about what that positive will look/feel like when it eventually comes. If everything goes JUST right..hopefully beginning of August! :) 

Day 5 of my IVF cycle

Sorry for how long it has been between updates. David and I were on vacation for the last few days, and I had very limited internet access.  We were enjoying the beauty of Lake Geneva, and we were remembering that this very well may be the last vacation before I am pregnant so we took advantage of it!

The day before we left for vacation, I began my IVF injections. 10 units of Lupron (yep..the drug I was afraid of) every morning at 9-9:30 AM.  I have continued that dosing, and I just finished my 5th day of Lupron injections.  Here is what I have experienced so far while on this drug:

- Itching at the injection site which goes away within a few minutes.

- Tiredness. I find myself ready for more naps or an earlier bedtime.

- Headache. Since starting the lupron, I have had a slight headache constantly and its focus is right behind my eyes. Apparently, this is a hormonal headache, but so far it hasn't been bad enough to make me need tylenol.

- Flushed. About 15 minutes after my injection, I get REALLY warm. This lasts for about 10 minutes, and then it's done. I haven't had any more hot flashes which I'm grateful for.

- Welt at injection site. This was only yesterday, although it did make me a bit concerned. I had a quarter sized welt for about 8 hours following the injection. This morning the welt from yesterday was gone, and today's injection did not leave a welt.

Overall, I can't complain at all about the side effects. I have yet to experience the irritability that many experience (though I'm sure it's probably coming).  I also have to say the side effects I have had are quite minor, and I'm grateful for that. I hope it stays this way for the rest of the time I'm on the shot.

I will continue on 10 units of lupron a day until 7/13. On 7/11 I will go in for an ultrasound and blood work. If all looks good there, I will decrease my lupron dosage to 5 units on 7/13 and continue that through my egg retrieval. On 7/13 I will also be adding my stimulating meds: Follistim and Menopur. If all goes well, and I am not over suppressed or over stimulated, I will have my egg retrieval July 23-29.

Sister is Home, and IVF is About to Begin

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and good vibes for my sister. She is back home and doing very well! The early indicators show that the liver is regenerating which is fantastic news. I am so grateful for everyone's support through the weeks leading up to surgery and the surgery itself. It has been a stressful last week, and I'm grateful that my sister is doing so well.

Ellen will have to do more rounds of chemo once she has healed enough from the surgery, but chemo seems like an easy road compared to what she just went through. She's just so happy to be alive and be home..it's refreshing to see her looking so well.

As for IVF, it's right around the corner now. I ended up having my ultrasound test and mock embryo transfer on Monday, and they went over every single one of the injections at that time too. It was a bit overwhelming, but at the same time it feels less confusing than it did prior to the injection training. The ultrasound looked good, and apparently I have a, "beautiful uterus," which hopefully means a healthy home for the baby! The mock embryo transfer didn't go quite as smoothly, and it took the doctor quite some time to be able to get the catheter in. We will have another mock embryo transfer the day of the actual transfer just to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.

I did have to have another ultrasound to check up on my blood clot. As long as it comes back ok, and I get the clearance from the doctor, I will begin injections on Tuesday!! It's crazy to imagine that it's finally here. I'm so excited for it, and I just can't wait to get through egg retrieval! I'm ready to be pregnant!!

Very Short Update

Very short update here as I have to be getting to work. I have neglected putting dates up about my IVF cycle because right after finding out about starting my Lupron injections, I also found out my right arm has a blood clot in it.

3 weeks ago, I had an IV for the colonscopy and had some issues with the IV. Sure enough, it decided to form a blood clot, and I am now on blood thinners for it. Ultimately, it's good that they caught it and are working to resolve it, but it does delay things on the IVF front.

I'm not sure how long the IVF will be delayed, but I should find out in the next day or two.  I'm just waiting to hear from my CF doc and then my R.E. It's irritating to be so close and then have another setback, but I do want to be in the best health possible for pregnancy, and a blood clot probably isn't a good way to start the actual pregnancy process.

On another note, I saw my sinus doctor yesterday, and everything looks good in my nose so I have avoided surgery yet again. I also saw a cardiologist for the clot, and for general sign off before pregnancy, and she told me she is 100% fine with me getting pregnant! YAY!!

So some bad news and good news all rolled into one! I will update when I know more!

Also, just saying prayers for my sister as she is supposed to get her latest PET scan results. This will be what determines if we go through with surgery on June 12 or wait and do more chemo. She decided to take a spontaneous road trip to Charleston, South Carolina...I think she needed to get away and stop thinking about it all.  

Big Decisions!

So, I got the call back from my R.E.'s nurse at U of C with the list of dates. I am supposed to start injections on June 26th and will have my egg retrieval the week of July 23.  She told me that I would be starting on Lupron injections the 26th of June.

Being my cautious (some may say paranoid) self, looked up the side effects of Lupron, and now I'm not so sure I want to do this. I react badly to drugs a LOT, and the side effects of Lupron are no joke. Basically Lupron is a drug used to treat Advanced prostate cancer and it has been called by some, a "poison" as the side effects can be serious. It is also used to treat endometriosis.  It is used off-label for IVF (basically, it's not one of the "approved uses" of the drug), and it is VERY common practice to use it in an IVF cycle. To see the side effects please go here.  This list is similar to the others I have found across multiple drug sites.  Basically the drug will shut down the pituitary gland from producing the LH hormone, thus ensuring that ovulation does not happen prematurely. It sounds like a good idea, but the horror stories (and yes, I realize they are rare, and they are titled "horror stories" for a reason) make me nervous.

As I said, I react badly to a lot of drugs, and many of the "horror story" reports state that patients who have taken Lupron have experienced irreversible effects from the drug. It also has side effects of high blood sugar (I already have diabetes) and is used with caution in individuals who have a prolonged QT interval (which I do). Needless to say, I'm nervous. I actually called the doctor today to see if there is a way to go about the IVF cycle without this drug (Waiting to hear back from them).  There's just something in my gut which tells me NOT to go on this drug. It may be fear, but my gut usually doesn't steer me wrong. If I can't find an alternative way to go about this process, I may just go back to naturally trying because I just don't feel comfortable taking the Lupron...even if it is for my dream of being a mommy.

Anybody out there with any ideas or who has used Lupron for IVF? I'd love to hear from you!

Let the Process Begin!

Well . . . . after MONTHS of tests and waiting and more tests and more waiting, we are finally starting the IVF process (eek!).  I began my birth control pills on Sunday, and sometime today or tomorrow I should receive a call with the dates for the ultrasound test/mock embryo transfer, injections training, start date for injections, and egg retrieval date! Talk about crazy!!

I have had my fears as we started everything. I feel like I didn't have to be worried when there wasn't a chance of anything happening naturally, but now there's a chance so the fear has set in. Here's a few of the things that have been on my mind

* Can we handle a child? Really? Can we?
* Will I maintain my health during pregnancy and after?
* Will we be ok with just one baby? What happens when we want a second one?
* What if I can't control my sugars in early pregnancy?
* Do I really have to go through the injections and egg retrieval? These two things seem quite scary to me.
* What if IVF doesn't work?

I think these fears will change throughout the process, but many will remain. Hopefully I will find that injections and retrieval aren't nearly as bad as I'm imagining them to be!

I'll keep you all updated, but nervousness and excitement has definitely taken over for me! :)

The Road Ahead

So, I haven't posted much fertility information recently and decided it was time for a brief update.

David and I had our last genetic test done up at U of C and we are still waiting for the results of that news.  I also had my liver test done (due to my high liver enzyme levels), and they came back...NORMAL! Such great news!!! My doctors aren't concerned about IVF in regards to my liver, and once the genetic tests come back all of my doctor approvals will be in.  As far as I can tell, this is our last step before we are ABLE to start IVF.

That said, we've made the decision (I still need to talk to the doctor fully about it) to try IUI first. I just want to try doing the less invasive first, especially since I've now ovulated for two cycles.  I feel like this may be the smart approach, and then if it doesn't work we can head into IVF knowing that we tried the least invasive measure first.  Before doing IUI, however, I am going to try a month of mucinex to see if I can thin out my cervical mucus even more.  I'm not holding on to any hope for it to work, but I figure it's worth a try.

So for now, the game plan is to try one cycle with the mucinex, and then move on to IUI for at least 3 cycles before reevaluating.  We did decide to still try naturally for this current cycle. Oddly enough, I think I have become so used to getting BFNs that I'm not focusing on "pregnancy symptoms" this month.  I'm a week past ovulation now (with EWCM, YAY!) and normally I start seeing everything as a sign, but this time absolutely NOTHING.  Very odd for me, but it's nice to not be obsessing over it for once. :)

Hoping everyone else is doing well and feeling healthy! 

Holding Off on IVF

After March 6 turned all my family's lives upside down, I've been trying to put as many pieces back together as possible. Today is my day to actually write a new blog post. I figured it was as good a time as any to update you all on what's been happening over the past month.  Let's start with my sister and then move on to fertility and other things.

Almost immediately after my sister's diagnosis, she had a port put in so that she could receive chemo easily and can also have blood draws done without a million sticks. She loves her port already, and I'm sure that the feeling will only get stronger as the treatments continue.

Last Monday, Ellen started chemo and the first treatment went really well. She has a 4 hour chemo followed by a 48 hour chemo every 2 weeks. The first treatment usually goes pretty well for people, but the effects of chemo are cumulative so we will start to see more side effects as the treatments continue.  Other than just feeling extremely tired very easily, she has been feeling well so far!

Obviously, we've all been under a completely overwhelming amount of stress. I've done decently well handling the stress (better than I thought I would actually). I can easily say that the week of March 6th was the worst week of my life to date, but I managed to weather it without getting sick. I lost about 5 pounds total, but I've been gaining it all back.  I also am starting to feel sick now, but I think it's mostly allergies. My eyes are burning/itching, and I'm coughing much more from tickles in my throat. Again, I think it's allergies. As I expected, The one area that was definitely affected by the stress was my cycle. I ended up having a 29 day cycle last month....normally my cycles are 36-40 days! It was QUITE odd to have a "normal" cycle for a change, but I think the stress caused it to start early.  We'll see what this cycle does.

Again, due to the stress and the situation, we've decided to put off IVF treatments for now. We realize that we have a time-frame for having children, but if we're both stressed a pregnancy won't go well.  We are going to continue TTC naturally, but we'll see if I end up getting anywhere with that method.  I've also decided to try IUI prior to IVF as long as we can do it with a minimal risk of multiples (unmedicated IUI cycles).  So, I'll definitely keep you all updated when we decide to go along with IUI.

I will say that my sister's diagnosis allowed me to feel grateful not to be pregnant for the first time since we started TTC.  I was so glad I wasn't pregnant because I know I wouldn't have weathered the diagnosis without something bad happening. I probably would have wound up in the hospital on IVs. It's crazy when you look back at things and see God's hand in everything. I love that feeling.

So, as we end the month, we're hoping and praying for successful chemo treatments which shrink the tumors very quickly, and we're hoping for a natural pregnancy! My birthday is on Saturday so we'll be celebrating that, and that's the start of David's spring break! It should be a great upcoming week! 

Just Another Hurdle to Jump

Over the past few weeks, we have been getting excited (and anxious) about starting infertility treatments. On Monday, I received a call with my liver results, which we were expecting to be good (due to my enzyme levels in Dec. and the ultrasound tech saying that my liver looked good).  My Dr. stated that my ultrasound, did indeed look great, but my new enzyme level draws (from 2-9) showed that my levels were once again elevated.  Because of this, she can not recommend us for fertility treatments or for me to carry a pregnancy because she is unsure what is going on in my liver (IVF drugs and pregnancy can throw a regular liver into overdrive, so a liver that is already damaged can have permanent damage).  She said that she wants to re-draw my liver enzyme levels in another month, and if they are still high at that point, she wants to do a biopsy to figure out what's wrong.  Hopefully, the blood draw will come back ok.

Basically, we've reached yet another hurdle that we have to jump over.  This time, however, I'm not able to see the finish line beyond the hurdle.  I realize this may be a bit dramatic, but honestly I'm just getting tired of hearing "just one more test," or "you need another approval letter."  I want to hear, "Ok, we're all set to go with this."  I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

Because of yet another hurdle (this one being more serious than ones we've encountered in the past), we are trying to prepare ourselves for the worst, but still hope for the best.  We are seriously considering, for the first time, that maybe our path isn't meant to include children that are genetically ours.  We are openly talking about adoption or fostering, and we are also trying to accept that it may just be the two of us forever.  Right now, we can barely afford to keep ourselves afloat, let alone be accepted for adoption or fostering (and this is before the CF consideration). Adoption and fostering may simply be out of the question. Yes, these are possibilities that may never occur, but they are real possibilities, and they have to be considered.

Needless to say, Monday night I sat and cried for hours, and my husband held me for hours.  He told me we'd face it all together, no matter what.  He told me that while it has always been his dream to have kids, he'd throw it all away if he could just have me in his arms forever.  As much as we both hate this infertility journey, we can't disagree with the fact that it is bringing us closer and closer with each new barrier we have to break down.

It's Wednesday now, and we're able to look at everything a bit more rationally and a bit less emotionally.  That said, we are (despite what the doctor stated) going to keep trying for a baby naturally. Although it may not be recommended, most of the CFers I know have slightly elevated liver enzymes, and they still are fine throughout a pregnancy.  I'm ok with not having fertility treatments for another few months, but I'm not ok, and will not be ok, with abandoning trying to conceive altogether. My doctor has done every test, short of a biopsy now, and it all looks ok, just with an elevated enzyme level (of 44 I might add which isn't much higher than normal). We will keep trying naturally.

So for now, our plan is to continue trying, continue praying, and continue trusting in God's plan. We firmly believe it will work out the way it's supposed to, and if we are meant to not have kids, then that's the way it goes and we will figure it out together. 

My Struggle with the Pregnancy Decision

As I continue to edge closer and closer to my first round of IVF, I find myself becoming more and more apprehensive about the whole process.  For someone who has suffered with anxiety for a few years, I've been surprised at myself for not feeling anxious throughout this entire time.  I've tried to explain to others why this anxiety exists, but it's hard to convey to them just what a CF pregnancy means.  Despite the fact that many don't fully "get" it, I feel the need to write about it.  What follows is a small splattering of the thoughts that occur when I think about being pregnant, and I apologize in advance for the randomness that will follow.

I'm going to come out, right now, and tell you what my biggest fear is: dying during pregnancy.

I know..I know..it sounds dramatic. The thing is, it's not all that dramatic.  I started following all the blogs and boards regarding CF pregnancy last June.  Shortly after starting, I became acquainted with Nicole, a fellow cyster who was already pregnant and doing well.  Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she had a massive bout of hemoptysis and she and her sweet unborn son, Robert, ended up passing away a short time later.  

Following that, I have heard a scattered story or two about someone with perfectly good lung function doing terribly, or even passing away during pregnancy.  I will tell you, it had me terrified.  

I'm not terrified anymore, but the very real fear is still present.  It nags at me deep down when I'm least expecting it.  It's the voice constantly saying, "Are you sure you want to do this? Give up your body for 9 months? Deal with weekly doctors appointments for various doctors that you will have to see during the pregnancy? Are you sure you want to take this risk?"  

Then, there's the other voice.

The side of me that says, "I want my own child, and my body can do this."  I think about all the pros that I have going for me: My lung function is normal.  It's 86%!  I'm stable and have been now for 5 years.  I've only had 2 PICC lines ever, and the second one was for a precautionary reason following sinus surgery. I'm going to be at home the entire pregnancy, which means more rest, and it limits me from catching something from a work environment.  I have the best doctors, and they ALL are confident and excited about me carrying a child. I do my treatments, faithfully, and I will continue that regimen once I'm pregnant, and after the pregnancy is done.  I have a support system that just doesn't end; If I'm sick, I'll have help.  I also know my body, and I will be on the phone with my doctors at the first sign that something isn't right.  

Obviously, I've made my mind up about this, but I still do worry.  I also think that's just the way mothers-to-be are, in general, let alone if they have a genetic condition against them.  I just don't want my time with my sweet husband to be compromised because of my selfishness to have a child.  Yet, I know I'm meant to be a mother. I know that fact with all my being.  It's my purpose for being on this Earth.  

All of this being said, my husband and I have come to a pretty solid, although difficult, decision.  We want to have our own child for our first child (if we can).  After that, we have decided that we will probably either adopt or work through the fostering system.  The truth is that we both want more than one child (at least, right now), but we're not comfortable with risking my health twice for it.

Deciding to have a child has been the  most difficult decision in my life, hands down.  I hope I am making the right choice, but I also have faith that God has a plan for me which will unfold exactly how it is supposed to.  I also am keeping the encouraging, uplifting stories of fellow cysters, who have not just fared well during pregnancy, but improved in my mind and heart.  

I know that the nagging voice will still be there, probably up until the birth of my child, but I am trying my best to quiet it and focus on the good.  

To all my cysters who have already made this choice, did you also find it to be the most difficult choice you've made?

To all my cysters who are currently making this choice, I keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you find peace and confidence in whichever decision you ultimately make.  Trust me, I know how hard it is.

Spring, are you really here?? And a few infertility concerns...

Ok, obviously I KNOW spring isn't here, but it sure feels like it today!! It's supposed to be low 50s outside today, when we normally are averaging 20s for highs this time of year. I must say that this year has been the strangest winter weather I have ever experienced.  I'm enjoying the nice warmth that we are getting, but it is a little unsettling since this is so odd for us.

That said, on to my real reason for the post...

IVF will be starting in two cycles now.  It was supposed to start next cycle (right around the end of Feb.), but David can not take off for the last blood test he needs.  They want to do the complete test for CF (where they check for every single known mutation).  I understand why they want to since we will be doing IVF, but he needs to take the day off in order to have the test done.  Then, the test needs to be analyzed and then a letter of recommendation can be written for us to start the IVF process. I have an appointment on the 9th of February, and I was hoping he could come with me for that appointment.  He's a teacher though, so he can't take off.  His first day off is Feb. 20, and my cycle is due to start on the 22-24. I don't think that's QUITE enough time to get the test results and the letter. ;)

At first, I was quite sad about this.  I really wanted to start this coming cycle, but I realized that I have waited quite some time already so one more month won't make a difference at all. David was worried about how upset I'd be, as he knows I've been ready to get everything started. I explained to him that I realize he has obligations and can't take off whenever he needs to.  Especially with us doing IVF, he's having to be quite selective about taking days off because there will be quite a few days he'll need to take off once the process gets started.

With all of that said, I'm starting to get VERY nervous about IVF.  I think now that my liver doctor has given me the approval (pending the results of testing on 2/9), I am starting to realize how fast it is all happening. I started (foolishly) reading all of the risks of IVF last night, and I wound up feeling like a basket-case at the end of the night.  So why am I so afraid?

I will start this process by going on birth control to regulate my cycle and match it up to the lab's schedule (no worries here as I had been on birth control for over 10 years to regulate my cycles).

From there, I will receive an ultrasound to check my ovaries and uterus to make sure there are no complications they might have already missed such as a thin uterine wall or a few other issues they look for (again no worries here - I've had enough internal and regular ultrasounds that they don't bother me one bit..plus no real risk with these).

Then, at some point they will take me off of the birth control and start me on hormone injections (here comes the first worry).  I will be injecting synthetic hormones into my body which will stimulate my ovaries to produce A LOT of eggs.  The risk here is that I develop a condition called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS).  This terrifies me.  Basically, the ovaries can begin to overstimulate, and left untreated this condition can become life-threatening.  My doctor ensured me that they will be checking me every other day to make sure that I'm not developing the condition, but my fear is still there. I'm also worried about the mood swings that come along with the hormones, and I worry about having some kind of reaction to the hormones.

If the hormones, against all of my worrying, work perfectly fine without complication, then I will be scheduled for egg retrieval (EEK!).  During this process, they will put me under with anesthetic and then surgically (minor procedure) remove as many eggs as they can.  They hope for 10 eggs each collection to work with.  Since not all eggs will fertilize, this gives them a good sample of eggs to work with.  Ahh,  my second and bigger fear.  I HATE surgical procedures, no matter how minor. I HATE being put under with anesthesia.  I always worry when I have to be put under, and I've had no less than 6 surgeries in my life so I should be used to it by now.  I'm not though.  This also worries me because they stated that they had trouble finding my right ovary.  I'm curious as to how they make sure first that I'm not developing OHSS, and then secondly how they plan to extract the eggs from this ovary if they can't find it.  Hmmm....

Obviously, I need to ask a few more questions and discuss the results with my doctor.  Hopefully, he can easily calm my fears, and I can go into the process with a peaceful state of mind.

Once this whole procedure is behind me, I will hopefully be blogging about how silly it was for me to worry so much.  Hopefully, I will then be blogging about all of my fears associated with the actual pregnancy...oh boy.

Sorry in advance for any anxiety-ridden posts which may result from this infertility journey. I did warn you all in advance, however, in my "About me" section..I'm a worrier!!! 

Initial Consult with the R.E.

Good morning all! 

I was going to post yesterday, but I was a bit overwhelmed with everything and needed to just take it all in yesterday. I know you are all wondering what happened, so here it goes:

Yesterday we woke up bright and early, ready to nervously head to our Reproductive Endocrinologist's (RE's) office for the first time.  We made sure to give ourselves PLENTY of time because I had no idea where this office was located, as it was separate from the normal University of Chicago hospital.  We were also given directions to obtain free parking for the clinic, but it seemed confusing and I wanted to make sure we found it easily. We left 2 hours prior to our appointment time.  

Well, an hour later we were at the clinic, parked in the free parking, and walking up to the office.  The building is definitely confusing at first, and it takes a few minutes to get acquainted with the layout of everything.  Upon entering, I was actually surprised at how small the waiting area was. It had 3 small couches in it, and that was it.  Also, it didn't feel very "medical" feeling, which I think they do on purpose to keep patients more comfortable about the whole situation.  

After only a few minutes (we had done all the paperwork in advance), we were led back to a consultation room which consisted of comfortable rolling chairs and a round table. It was actually a really nice little room, but as my nerves were pretty high upon arriving, I didn't really care too much about the decor.  We waited about twenty minutes (remember we were an hour early), and then our Dr., Dr. C., walked in apologizing for being late (even though he wasn't late, we were EARLY).  

He introduced himself, sat down, and started asking us a lot of personal history questions. We answered them pretty quickly, and he started getting down to my medical problems and my reason for being there.  He then pulled out the ultrasound and started talking to us about our options of how to continue.  

Thankfully, there was nothing majorly wrong on my ultrasound. The reason I was referred is because of the right ovary being invisible and the left one being filled with cysts.  My high-risk OB thought that with the time-crunch CFers have, he would rather just have me head over to infertility and get the assistance I need instead of trying for another few months without a result.  Dr. C. said that there are some potential problems because of my ovaries.  He said that with CF there is the problem of tubal blockages, and he feels that with my other ovary "missing", the tubing is probably twisted as well.  He also indicated a few other problems that may arise due to multiple abdominal surgeries at birth.  He said that my adhesions make it difficult for everything to work properly, which makes total sense.  

He continued to tell us more of the potential issues, but honestly I can't remember them all (they're written down on the sheets he gave us, but for the purpose of clarity and brevity, we'll just leave them out).  Then, he told us our two options:

1) IUI

2) IVF

He said we could try IUI if we wanted, but he felt that we would ultimately find ourselves in IVF treatments regardless.  He explained why he felt that and then he also explained the risks of both treatments to us.  After over an hour discussion at the clinic, and more discussion at home together, we've decided that the right course of action for us is IVF.  Why?

One of the biggest fears we have about IUI is the chance of multiples.  With IUI, the risk of twins (or more) is 30%!! Honestly, I do not think my body could handle twins very well as I am EXTREMELY tiny.  I think one baby is going to be hard enough on my body.  With IVF, the doctor will only be implanting ONE embryo at a time.  

Also, the testing to see if my tubes are open enough for IUI in the first place, comes with a risk of infection and requires antibiotics prior to the test and after the test.  I'm already on antibiotics full time, and I do worry about my body handling infection (the reason for infection is that they have to shoot a contrast up through the uterus and tubes).  He said also that even if the test comes back showing my tubes are open enough for dye to go through, they may still be blocked too much for actual conception to occur because of the thickened mucus in CF and the little tiny hairs that line the tubes which can collect the mucus and other junk.  

With IVF, we will be able to genetically test the embryos for CF prior to implantation, which is a good idea as well.  We also will be able to place only one embryo at a time. He suggested, and we agree, that overall it's the safest and most effective method for us.  PLEASE do not take OUR decision as the "right" or "wrong" decision...infertility treatments are extremely personal and each couple needs to make their OWN decision with their doctor's help.  

Gosh these posts are just getting longer and longer..I truly apologize!!

So what now? Now, we make sure my CF doctor approves IVF treatments, and then if she does, we head forward.  I will receive an ultrasound and bloodwork 3 days into my next period.  Then we will start going through the entire process of hormone injections to get me ready for egg retrieval. I will detail all of this much more as we get closer to each process. 

Overall, it was a great day and we now have a plan. I still feel conflicted because I am definitely nervous about the hormones and the egg retrieval surgery, but overall I agree that it's the safest way to go for us. It's just a very strange and difficult decision to make.

Thank you all for your prayers, hugs, and good thoughts as I waited over the past week. I can never explain how much it meant to me, and how much you all got me through this past week.  Now, onto the next part of this journey...just hoping for doctor's approval at this point.  If she approves, we're looking at the first implantation to be January or February! Eek! :)