Egg Retrieval Day is Here!!

Being a CFer, I should really be used to surgeries and procedures by now.

I'm not.

They still scare me, and I don't do well with the anticipation.

Take last night for example: 4 AM and I was up with a massive panic attack. Then, I started coughing and felt like I couldn't stop. Normally, when a coughing fit ensues, I drink water but since I was required to be water and food free past midnight, that was out of the question.  So I coughed..and coughed, and coughed. Then, I was positive I couldn't breathe which set off my panic even more. I finally managed to get to bed by 5:30, and now it's 7:40 and I'm almost out the door for my "big day."

So what scares me about surgery? There's a couple things, but the major one is anesthesia.  I'm always afraid that I'm not going to wake back up. I worry that they won't be able to reverse the anesthesia meds if they need to. I know it's silly, but it's always a fear when I get put under. I hate the idea of not being able to fall asleep on my own with it too.  The fact that they control when you sleep and when you sleep terrifies me.

My name is Megan, and yes I have some control issues...

The other thing that always scares me is complications. This surgery is a very "easy" surgery by definition. I just worry that with all my scar tissue from my previous surgeries the doctor will have trouble getting where he needs to be, or he will hit something that shouldn't be where it is due to adhesions pushing it there.

Ok, well that's it..the list of my fears this morning as I head off to this procedure. I will update whenever I'm awake enough from the sedation to do so...be prepared it usually takes HOURS for me to stop falling asleep from anesthesia!