Sunday, January 6, 2013

Loving My Body



It probably won't come as much of a surprise to fellow CFers when I say that I have always struggled with body image. Since I was little, I remained either too tiny (something I relished in high school) or had the typical "CF belly" that made me look slightly pregnant even as I struggled to achieve that goal. Add to that, the two giant scars that cover my stomach from life-saving surgeries at birth, and I typically felt insecure. I never had that "perfect" body.

Until now.

As any woman who has had the privilege of carrying a child will probably tell you, there is something beautiful and perfect about pregnancy. Even when acne or dry skin is splotched everywhere, your veins are more prominent than you could have imagined, or your belly button pokes out and refuses to go back in, pregnancy is incredible.

For the first time in my life, my body is strikingly beautiful. The scars don't matter because each day I look at my belly, and I know that my body is sustaining a new life. My sweet child is growing at such a quick pace inside of me which in turn leads me to feel the most gorgeous I have ever felt.

I can't find the words to express how special or amazing pregnancy is to me. It's something that I dreamed about since I was a child, and in recent years it was a goal I really wasn't sure was attainable. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep thinking that my body may never achieve nature's purpose to carry a child. Because of this, I have spent every day of my pregnancy marveling over each new feeling, growth spurt, pound  gained, or any other change. I stop by the mirror at least a dozen times just to look at my belly and to talk to my baby.

I have always loved my life to the point where I truly see each day as a blessing to be enjoyed and lived to its fullest, but now I feel a divine purpose. A purpose to carry this beautiful baby and be his or her mother.

I've never felt more complete. Ever.

7 comments:

  1. Amen! In fact, I wrote a pretty similar post at 18 weeks too, LOL!
    http://beingcindy.blogspot.com/2012/10/loving-this-body.html

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  2. Love it! I wrote one very short blog post Jan 9th 2012...almost exactly one year ago. I had a bump pic on that post too and I have to say our bumps looked about the same size! I am pretty sure I was 17 weeks!
    http://hopefulwithcf.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-officially-look-pregnant-and-i-am-my.html
    After baby I still love my body because I saw it for what it was capable of! I also look at my 18lb almost 6.5 month old and love my body even more because all of that chub and all of those rolls are from my body too (nursing!).

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  3. How funny is it that the three of us wrote very similar posts at the exact same time in our pregnancies!! I can see why - we all have/had BEAUTIFUL bumps!

    Inhaling Hope, I love that you are able to still love your body through your little girl. That's so wonderful and beautiful!

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  4. I completely agree with this post! What I didn't expect though was for that feeling to continue after I had my baby. I honestly think nursing had a lot to do with it for the first year (not only are nursing boobs pretty incredible in size, it's pretty awesome that they actually GIVE LIFE!) but after weaning Morgan I still felt great when I looked in the mirror. I am more forgiving of the flaws I see because, well, I had a baby. I can appreciate the fact that my breasts aren't as perky as they used to be because they SUSTAINED ANOTHER LIFE! Even three years later, I look in the mirror and see this incredible body that gave birth to my little miracle.

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  5. Hey Megan!!! You look WONDERUFUL!!! Enjoy every second of this because its all a part of you!!! You should be so proud of your new look. You are GLOWING my friend :)

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  6. I was doing some research on CF and came across your blog. I have a 2 year old daughter with CF. What an inspiring woman you are! You look BEAUTIFUL, such a cute pregnant belly!

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  7. Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet comments, everyone.
    Jenny, I hope I feel that way also after baby's birth. I am planning on breastfeeding as well! I am just consistently amazed by my body throughout this pregnancy.

    John, Thank you!!! I'm trying to enjoy every single second, that's for sure!

    Regina, Thank you for your kind words!! I hope your daughter is doing well. There are so many adult CFers who are thriving and kicking CF booty every day!! We are such a strong community, that's for sure!!

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