14 weeks and . . .

14 weeks and feeling GREAT!

My CF appointment went well. My lung function is stable, and I have gained weight - obviously the doctors are thrilled about that! We talked about different breathing exercises for when the vest will no longer work well. I think we have awhile until that point.

My energy has suddenly returned, and so I have been busy getting ready for Christmas and taking care of household needs. Dishes, laundry, bathrooms, dusting...all of these things got pushed to the back burner the last trimester. Yes, they got done here and there, but not consistently. I'm definitely ready for a clean house again.

Belly photos. I started taking them, but they have NOT been consistent. A big part of my problem is how self-conscious I am about my belly scars and how they look now that I'm pregnant. Yes, you can see them through my shirts. I need to just get over it and document my bump anyway because this could very easily be the only pregnancy I have.

Weight gain is around 6 pounds now. It's hard to believe, but I am thoroughly enjoying the surreal feeling of watching that scale go up every few days. I started at 117 and I'm now 124. Not too bad!

I am starving all the time right now. Even after I eat. If I don't eat every two hours or so, I swear my stomach is eating itself!!

I'm ready to feel baby all the time. I think I have felt baby here and there for brief seconds at a time, but I am ready for the kicks and the punches! Bring them on!!

Overall, I'm doing REALLY well so far. I'm pretty shocked at how easy the pregnancy has been to this point. I'm certainly  not complaining, and I am enjoying every second that I have of being pregnant. I know I will miss it a year from now. 

A Pregnancy Funny

I have a CF appointment so I will probably post about that tomorrow, but until then. . . .

I woke up to use the bathroom for a second time last night (it was about 4 AM), and I was so tired that all I could think was, "six more months, and I will get a full night sleep again."

Then, I literally started laughing out loud at myself. I laughed so hard!

In six more more months, I will officially be up ten times more than I am now!!!

And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way! :) 

12 Week Ultrasound

Since my teenage years, I have often dreamed of what it would be like to see my baby move on an ultrasound with my husband by my side. I would lay in bed, imagining the scene with a smile plastered on my face knowing that it would be an incredible feeling. 

I can now say that it was even better than I could have imagined! 

The last time David had seen our baby, he/she was just a little "blob" with a flickering heartbeat. Yes, it was exciting, but David had yet to see baby looking like baby (other than the 9 week ultrasound picture that I brought home). To him, it hadn't become fully real yet - until this appointment! 

This was our 12 week screen which would check for the probability of Downs Syndrome and other chromosomal issues. Because of this, we were nervous about the appointment. As soon as the ultrasound wand touched my belly though, my worries melted away. Our little baby looked perfect, and seeing the look on David's face as he saw Baby looking like a baby was priceless. Then, Baby started moving and he was shocked. Our little Peanut was turning and twisting every which way. In fact, it took quite awhile to get the measurements needed because of how often Peanut twisted away from the camera. Thankfully, the measurements came back perfectly normal (and now we are waiting on the combination with the blood test results). 

After the measurements were done, the sonographer took her time showing us each part of Baby. We got to see arms, legs, feet, and we even took a peek to see the gender (even though it is WAY too early). Nothing is there yet, but that doesn't mean anything ;) We also heard the heartbeat (this was the first time hearing it for David), and found out it was measuring at 161 BPM. Apparently, that's right on target, although I expected it higher since the last appointment it was in the 180s. 

She then printed out our picture:

Our beautiful baby at 12 weeks 4 days

And then she gave us a real treat. She turned on the 4D ultrasound machine, and we saw Peanut in such a neat way. Usually, 4D photos actually look "strange" to me this early on, but since it is our baby I was not freaked out by it in any way. Neither was David. In fact, we cherish that picture and we both look at it each day. It's the closest we have been to "meeting" our baby so far, and it felt amazing! 

Finding Out

I want to thank everyone for their sweet words and comments from our previous post. We are so excited, and I can't wait until we can announce our news publicly.

Since I ended up spilling the news early to everyone, it's now time to backtrack a bit and talk about the transfer, the days after, and the first time I've ever seen those two beautiful lines on an HPT.

The difference between my first embryo transfer and my second, frozen transfer was night and day. The first time around, I felt miserable. The bloating in my stomach, the nausea, and the pain from the surgery were all present for the day of my transfer, and while I tried to remain positive it was hard when I felt so crummy. It also took an extremely long time for the first transfer, and it was difficult for the R.E. to get into the uterus (probably due to the swelling from surgery). It was painful and uncomfortable, and I seriously dreaded my second transfer following the first experience.

Thankfully, the second time around was incredible. First, I felt great. I was calm, positive, focused, and I wasn't in pain or swollen anymore. I also brought a book to read to help me relax in the time after the transfer while you are required to lay down. Trying to make the whole experience as relaxing as possible really helped my feelings toward the transfer in general. Then, the transfer itself was smooth and easy. It took awhile to get past the cervical mucus, but after that the catheter went into the uterus on the first try, and the R.E. slowly pulled the catheter out which I believe helped.

After the required 30 minutes of lying flat on the table, I got dressed and we went home. I enjoyed the rest of the evening relaxing on the couch and trying not to focus too much on what had happened.

By the next day, I officially had my first pregnancy symptom. I know that seems incredibly strange and early, but I have had a few others who have had positive IVF cycles claim to have the exact same experience so I do believe it's true. The very next day, I was exhausted. I was so tired that all I could do was lay around and sleep. That feeling continued every single day until my positive test.

For the symptom watchers out there, I will post my other symptoms:
6DPO, I woke up from my nap with an "I'm pregnant" feeling that I can't describe
7DPO, extremely tired
8DPO, cramping, still exhausted
9DPO, Started getting angry at little things and had to take a break while walking due to feeling slightly out of breath. Obviously, still tired.
10DPO, More cramping, more exhaustion, but one strange thing: no sore chest. Every single cycle my chest is sore by this point.
11DPO, So tired that I couldn't even focus on a book. Cramping and light light pink spotting. Chest still not sore and my tastes were off. Subway tasted terrible.
Tested after spotting and saw the faintest BFP ever! Best feeling in the world!
12DPO, still exhausted. Took 4 more HPTs and all were positive (yes, I was addicted to them). Started spotting a bit heavier.
13DPO, Could feel my heartbeat was faster and lower back was a bit sore. Chest still not sore, and sudden gag reflux kicked in. Took another HPT and the line was even darker.
14DPO, Officially pregnant!!! Beta came back at 165 (good, strong number)!!
18DPO, Beta needed to be above 660 and was 737.8!
21DPO, Beta came back at 1808!!

When I took that first HPT, I was in total shock. I had left it on the counter of the bathroom and waited the required three minutes, fully expecting a negative when I came back (even if just because it was too soon after transfer to test). As I picked it up, I noticed that there was a faint second line, and I immediately began shaking and laughing. I don't think the smile left my face for hours after that.

My husband wasn't home at the time, and I was out of HPTs so I ran to Walgreens to get another package. I then waited the suggested 4 hours betweeen pee breaks (I hadn't done this the first time), and I took a second test to make sure it was really positive. Sure enough, the line was even darker. I told my husband by wrapping a onesie that said, "My daddy loves me" and a baby book.

It was one of the best days of my life. Hands down. :)

The Ultimate Blessings of 2012

** This is a long post, but worth reading! Also, if we are Facebook friends, I ask that you not post about the contents of this post. Thank you**

As Thanksgiving approaches, I have thought about the many blessings in my life that I have to be thankful for. I have an incredible family, access to great health care, financial resources to get my medications, a sweet puppy who makes my days great, a beautiful home, a reliable car, I live in a place where my vote counts and I have an overwhelming amount of freedom. . . the list goes on and on. This year, however, there are two things that I am especially thankful for.

Out of those two blessings, the first is that my sister has completed her final chemo session. You may remember that my sister was undergoing chemo after we found out (back in March) that she had Stage IV colon cancer. Our lives were immediately changed forever, and we (primarily Ellen but also her back-up team) started fighting with everything we had. She underwent over 8 hours of surgery on June 12 to take out the infected bowel and liver, and an ileostomy was placed to help prevent infection. She then went back to rigorous chemo that made her feel miserable day after day. At one point through her treatment, her white cell count plummeted and she was given a shot to help build them back up. This shot made her feel worse than the chemo. She also suffered from a pretty serious allergic reaction about three treatments ago. She was taken off of one of the drugs but still kept going with her chemo, and thankfully she stayed reaction-free for the last treatments. She has dealt with swollen tongues, nausea, pain, sensitivity to cold, swollen hands and feet, and just feeling miserable. BUT…she is finally done! Her CEA level is within normal range, and she will be having a reversal of the ileostomy soon! We are so thrilled at this news, and we are going to be celebrating during my family’s Thanksgiving! I’m getting a cake, balloons, streamers, the whole nine yards. We need to celebrate her amazing achievement, and I am so very proud of her.

With that blessing explained, it is probably hard to believe that there could be anything worth celebrating that even comes close to that good news. Normally, that would be 100% right, but this year we have been doubly blessed in an exciting way. . .

Basically, our Christmas present (the best Christmas present ever) came early this year. . .

Best photo we own! Baby's hand is front of its face, and we got to see Peanut move on this ultrasound.

That’s right! That picture is our little Peanut at 9 weeks and 4 days! I have been extremely quiet about the results of my last frozen transfer because I wasn’t quite ready to share the news with the world yet. I wanted time to enjoy it ourselves and to tell our immediate family and a few close friends. I still have a few family members who do not know such as my niece and nephew and my cousins. I will be telling them once I hit 13 weeks (so beginning to mid-December). But we are incredibly happy and blessed to announce that we are finally expecting a sweet, precious baby. My due date is June 12 or 13, depending on which ultrasound you listen to, and my husband and I couldn’t be happier. We found out on the first of October, and it has been INCREDIBLY hard not to write about it all this time. We were waiting until I got further along before sharing the news, but I couldn’t resist any longer.  So, as I write this, I am 10 weeks and 2 days, and believe it or not, I already have a little belly. I’ve had one for about three weeks but it’s gotten a bit bigger each week. I know they say you don’t show this early with a first pregnancy, but they obviously haven’t seen my body. It never goes down so it’s not just bloating that’s for sure, and it’s quite firm! I will have to post a bump picture very soon, but for now the ultrasound picture will have to tide you over!

Over the next few weeks, I will post about how I found out and what has happened from that point on. I’ll be looking back at the beginning of the pregnancy and explaining thoughts and feelings, and I also want to focus on the CF and CFRD aspects of the pregnancy.

As you can see, we really have been blessed with two of the most incredible blessings in the entire world this year. We are so thankful!

Again, if I can ask those of us who are Facebook friends to not post about this. Since a good amount of family does not know, I really don’t want it getting out on Facebook yet. I also want to wait for a public announcement to everyone who actually knows me until 13 weeks. Thank you all so much for understanding!

Stay tuned for all the exciting details about the last 8 weeks! :)

Lung Function Update

If you read my previous post, you know that I had clinic today and was hoping for an increase in lung function.

I'm back up to 83%!!! So very happy about that!!

Feeling really sore today though, so I'm just headed to bed once my nighttime treatment is done.