Day 6 of Stim Meds

First some random facts:

*Day 6 of the stim meds and my stomach looks like a pin cushion with some very nice yellow bruises and some very tender areas.
*My eyes and other random muscles keep twitching.
*Nausea has set in but only when the pain is bad..and the pain only gets bad when I have really bad gas.
*Gas-X has been my best friend recently.
*I'm losing weight which could be from the fact that it's consistently over 100 degrees here, and it's quite frankly too hot to eat!
*My headaches continue to be a fun issue, but they're getting slightly better which is a good thing
*Oh yes..I'm ready to be done with these drugs!!

Now to continue on to the juicy appointment details from today...I have 14 follicles on my left ovary and fewer follicles on my right ovary. Of those follicles, only 4 are larger than 10 mm which means that I'm not stimming enough. My estrogen level is 216 which also means I'm not stimming enough so the doctor has doubled my dosage of medication. Prior to today, I was taking 5 units of Lupron every day, 75 units of Follistim, and 37.5 units of Menopur. Now, I will continue the 5 units of Lupron, but I will take 150 units of Follistim every morning and 75 units of Menopur at night. The goal with this medication change is to increase my estrogen level and increase the number of follicles that are above 10mm. My lining, however, looks pretty good and is 8mm thick which I guess is right on target (YAY)!

So what did I do with all this news, you may ask?

I broke down - I got really upset about the fact that more follicles haven't grown yet I feel like I have softballs in my abdomen. I looked at the "guideline" sheet when I got home, and it says that my estrogen level should be in the hundreds, and my follicles should be growing. That's all it says. So according to that, I'm right where I need to be..so why the sadness? I guess I just really want this cycle to work, and I want enough eggs at the time of retrieval that we have enough to freeze.  I know it's asking a lot, but that's my wish. I ended up tearing up and panicking all at the same time this afternoon due to this news about the increase in medication. It seems silly because it's not a huge deal, but whether it be from the hormonal rollercoaster I'm riding or something else..I'm certainly emotional.

So for now..I will continue taking my new doses of drugs, and I will return Friday for another ultrasound and more blood work.

P.S. Sorry about the HORRIBLE quality of my writing lately..I just have been jotting down ideas without actually working at it. Hopefully once my emotions are better, I will feel more like my old self and feel like writing properly again. 

A week from tomorrow. . .

A week from tomorrow and I could possibly be having my egg retrieval done. It's crazy that it's all moving so quickly, but I'm ready to be off of all these meds already..that's for sure.

No real "updates" per say, but I have been getting TERRIBLE headaches with the Follistim injections. They are to the point where they make me sick to my stomach and I don't want to move. It's like intense pressure all through my head, and it happens in the afternoon each day. When I take the Menopur, it starts to get a bit better. It's strange...

Also, I expected the Menopur to be terrible after reading many reports of how bad the injection burned. Well, I've had Lovenox (blood thinner) injections so maybe that's why burning has a different definition for me, but the Menopur injections aren't bad at ALL. I do push the drug REALLY slowly to avoid any potential burning, but honestly the Menopur is a piece of cake. To be fair, all the injections have been easy (this could be due to my CFRD and taking insulin already), it's just been the side effects that are rough.

It's late morning now, and I can already feel that headache creeping in from the morning injection of Follistim. It is truly some of the worst head pain I've ever felt....but...it will ALL be worth it when I hold that precious little angel in my arms...

CF Clinic and First Ultrasound

Wow! What a couple of days it's been!  I have decided that I truly hate driving in Chicago rush-hour traffic! I've also realized that each ultrasound appointment requires me to drive in Chicago rush-hour traffic so I'm not away from it by any means.

I'll start of with Today's appointment which was CF clinic. We began our day by finding out that our normal route was going to be inaccessible as the road had buckled and was creating a traffic nightmare, to say the least! The travel times were over two hours from about 20 miles north of us so we decided we'd try a new and different route. I'm so glad we did! We found an alternate route that got us into the city in just under an hour (an amazing time given our location and that it was 7 AM in the morning)!

As far as the actual appointment goes: AWESOME!! My FEV1 was 86% and my FVC was 136% which is awesome, and I was NOT expecting it to be that high. I was so happy, and I have been thanking God many times since getting this news. I was concerned that it would be down thus cancelling my IVF cycle in order to go on antibiotics. Instead, I got a good report and was told they were all hoping for a positive pregnancy test for me! Couldn't ask for better! :)

Now for my ultrasound report: AWESOME as well!! At this point in the IVF cycle, the follicles should be really small, there should be no cysts, the uterine lining should be really thin, and the estrogen levels should be less than 100. My follicles were tiny with no cysts, I have a very thin uterine lining, and my estrogen level was 24.  I start stimulating meds on Friday!!! I will be injecting both follistim and menopur. The menopur needs to be mixed, and I'll be heading over to my dad's house to make sure I do it correctly (he's an E.R. nurse so he's pretty good at that stuff)!

I'm not sure how I'll feel during the stim meds, but I imagine to feel bloated and a little uncomfortable. I'll be sure to let you know, though! :) Next ultrasound appointment is Wednesday so we will see how everything looks then!

Tomorrow's Ultrasound

I've been staying pretty far away from all social media, including blogging lately. I've just felt the need to disconnect and focus on my husband and the IVF process. I truly didn't know what I would feel going into the IVF process, and I'm surprised by how personal it feels. Despite the few anger/crying jags that I've experienced, the process has brought us closer together. The connection we feel is so strong and incredible at this point, and we just keep focusing on how much we're doing to get toward our goal of having a baby.

David has been waking up with me each morning to help me do the Lupron injections. I don't need help with the injection part, but I always like to have him double check the amount in the syringe prior to injection. I feel groggy in the mornings, and an extra pair of eyes never hurts. He's truly so good about it, and I feel that he's as connected the process as he can possibly be.

In fact, at 5 AM tomorrow, we will be venturing off together to U of C for my first ultrasound since starting the drugs. I'm anxious. The goal is to be suppressed enough that the stimulating medicines can help, but I'm not sure if I am or not. I've been feeling like I have an ovarian cyst going on. Now, this could be just a case of CF tummy acting up as I've had to take some miralax and things have been a bit irregular for me. I haven't experienced issues like that in years, and I have to wonder if the Lupron is causing it? I'm hoping that these issues will pass once the egg retrieval process is done.

Anyway, I will be sure to keep you all updated on what happens tomorrow. Hopefully good news! I also have my CF clinic on Thursday so I'm hoping for good PFTs from that appointment as well!

We will just have to wait and see!

Today. . .

I'm 10 days into my Lupron shots and a week from tomorrow will be my baseline ultrasound and blood work. I've noticed that I've been a bit emotional, but not overly so. Also, I have a daily headache..behind my eyes. It's not too bad, but it's noticeable. Being 10 days into the cycle, my mind has begun wandering to the idea of a positive pregnancy test, and I keep trying to not get my hopes too high.  Today, however, has been an AMAZING day so I've let my mind wander as much as it wants.

Why was today amazing, you ask?

1) I began my day by getting some AMAZING news about a dear friend. The news I got made my whole week, and I nearly screamed at work. I was just SO excited for this person. I love hearing good news about my friends/family.

2) I worked with my favorite co-workers today and the day went pretty quickly which is ALWAYS a good thing.

3) My sister's follow-up appointment at Northwestern went extremely well, and the doctors are so pleased that they do not feel the need to see her again. They told her she is welcome to start chemo whenever she wants. AMAZING!

4) My husband had planned a sweet romantic day to celebrate our anniversary.  He's booked massages and has a nice place picked out for a dinner afterwards. What a true sweetheart I have!

5) I dreamed about positive pregnancy tests alllll day today. I read forum after forum about when people got their positive tests following their transfers. I calculated my test date/due date. I did it all.  Then, I started to worry that I might be over-suppressed or over-stimulated this cycle, and it might just get cancelled. I also started to worry that my lung function will be down so they will decide to cancel the cycle to put me on IVs. Then..I told myself to stop worrying and enjoy my dreaming..so I did just that. I went back to dreaming about what that positive will look/feel like when it eventually comes. If everything goes JUST right..hopefully beginning of August! :) 

A LITTLE Anger...

It's official. I've had my first "angry" day from the Lupron. David asked me a very simple and normal question, and I all the sudden felt the need to punch something. It lasted for about an hour then the anger went away. I've felt it three times since...

It's going to be a long month I'm afraid...